Understanding the Inner Lives of Women: Part III


1. Freedom from risk or danger; safety

2. Freedom from doubt, anxiety, or fear


“Your woman needs emotional security and closeness with you so much that she will endure financial insecurity to get it.”

-Jeff Feldhahn


*Key # 3


Why does she…?

  • Accuse you of “not caring about her,” when you’re working long hours to provide security for her and the kids?
  • Say she wants you around more, but also seems to want the nice things that can only come if you have a higher paying job?
  • Say she doesn’t feel close to you, when you two are married, in the same house, and sharing the same bed?

Here’s why:

  • For a woman, “emotional security” and closeness are far more important than financial security.
  • For a woman, security means you will always be there for her and closeness means you are best friends.

What to do:

  • Realize that she wants you around more, she’s probably willing to downsize your lifestyle if it is necessary to make that happen.
  • Since it’s the little things that build a sense of closeness, one example is to leave her a 30-second voice mail during the day just telling her how much you love her.
  • Realize you don’t have to stay in a job you dislike; your wife prefers you to be happy.


*For more keys about the inner lives of women and how to understand women in general, read For Men Only: a straight foreword guide to the inner lives of women written by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

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